Complications
by webgrll1
Summary: Sunny has Kyle now and everything is perfect. Right? Wrong, Jodi is back and Kyle is left to choose between them. Starts out with Jodi's insertion.follows story line exactly so jodi doesn't apear till chapter 6 My first story. R&R! Rated T, just in case.
1. insertion

**Sunny's P.O.V**

I was nearing the end of my fifth life term and, although many friends asked me too stay, I decided to go to a new planet that had recently been discovered. It had many senses, some of which I had not yet experienced, Smell and taste they had tried to describe but found impossible to do, so they advised I try it first hand. They also said there was a different range of color than here but that the color was spread widely by nature. they said it was one of the most beautiful places yet. The only bad thing that could be said about this planet was that the ranges of emotions. they were horribly strong and took a long while to get used to. But after comparing the pro's and con's I decided on that to be my next destination.

And thus I sped off to spend my sixth life on a planet they called earth.

**Jodi's P.O.V.**

I was struggling against my friend Julia's grip as she and her parents dragged me to a large table in the middle of there living room. She and her parents had been acting strange true but I had just passed it off as paranoia and now look at me. I tried to scream but they had a hand clamped over my mouth. Whose it belonged to I hadn't a clue and scrambling about like I was, I couldn't have cared less. They had the nerve to still try to comfort me, they still told me that they wouldn't hurt me that every thing would be ok.

I struggled harder as I thought of Kyle. How would he live without me? We needed each other, we were soul mates bonded by the truest of true love. They couldn't do this to me!

What were they doing to me?

they lifted me onto the table a cuffed my hands and feet to the sides of it. The only idea that had come up to my head was the thought that they were going to dissect me the way they had me face up stretched across the table. What a way to end.

It wasn't until they brought out the silver squirming glop of who knows what out of a storage tank piled next to them. That's when every thing connected together.

that was why Julia and her parents had been acting so strange, they weren't_ them. _they had those silver things in their head already. the same silver reflecting off the creature shown out of my life long friends eyes. how long had it been like this, was it the glittery worms talking to me all along? I felt sick realizing I had barly noticed the difference…

"NO!" I shouted the word out loud realizing what that could mean. Kyle, what if he _was_ one of them. I tried to thing back to what had been the tip off, what had caught my suspicion that something was wrong.

I thought about the last couple of months nothing seemed out of the ordinary but then, she started acting all weird about fighting and violence, and her parents had been so much nicer lately never raising there voices like they used to. That must have been it, when she lost her love of horror movies I'd lost her.

I thought of the fight Kyle and his brother Ian had gotten into. I had never been so happy for the violence the brothers had shared with each other. By this time I had stopped resisting, they sprayed something in my face and I _couldn't._ They forced me to swallow a small tablet that was tasteless as it slithered down my dry throat.

I could feel them cutting into my neck now it itched a little but it didn't hurt. Then they held the glittering worm to my neck. It move through the cut and even though it didn't hurt it _did_. I could feel it taking control, almost a stinging icey feeling as my control numbed down and eventually crushing me into non existence.

my last thought was please be safe Kyle,

And then I was gone.


	2. kidnapped

**Sunny's P.O.V.**

"The beginning would feel like the end" is was a saying that never failed to hit the mark.

This had been different though. At least I had known what to expect when it came to the

bears. The emotions were nerve wrecking as relived Jodi's last moments. The memories

felt when being inserted was never a pleasant experience but this was completely

unbearable. The emotions that ran through me hit deep down because it hadn't been just

fear and pain there was a longing. My host had been in love with a human named Kyle.

She had loved and needed him with all her heart, and even though she was gone the love

for him stayed. It was a need that engulfed me, it blocked out all other thoughts and

emotions. I needed him like a drug because when he had been with her every thing was

perfect. Without him she had felt that there was no reason for life itself. Her last memory

was a wish for him not to be taken by one of us. This thought was endearing to me

though, I could be with him forever after he had one of us put in him. I would never leave

his side again. I was brought out of my thoughts by the smell of grapefruit. my mind

suddenly alert. I glanced around the room. From my hosts memories I recognized Mr.

and Mrs. Anderson and there daughter Julia although in all reality they weren't the

people I had just named, they were already souls.

They all smiled identical grins but there eyes were tense as if understanding

the emotional torrent going through me. They did their very best to give me a run down

about what was going on here.

"Most of the beings here are still human" she said the word human with

disgust "we must try to blend in until the population has been fully

settled." She finished her thought and glanced at my face "Any questions?"

I was barely able to stutter out the question that to me felt as though it was life or death

"Kyle, have they gotten Kyle yet?" Hope was saturated in my voice.

"Oh?" Mrs. Anderson looked at me questioningly but Julia understood "It had

been her host's boyfriend" "Well then we will do all we can to find this Kyle and have

him given a soul as soon as possible" I only nodded in response and left to go home and

live with my "family".

Every day was the same.

I lived out my daily life with host's parents. They still treated me like there daughter

even though they too were souls . I did my best to act human, at times though I wondered

if I was doing something wrong. The other day I had worn a purple tee with beige pants

to my college class and a blonde girl who I assumed had been my host's friend pondered

on my eye sight and informed me that human thought it out of style to wear purple and

beige together. I thanked her kindly for the advice and assured her that my eye sight was

fine. She and her friends had just stared at me. but as time went on there became fewer

and fewer humans were left to ponder on differences that did not exist. All through this I

waited for the seekers to find my Kyle, but so far he and his brother were nowhere to be

found. they had guaranteed me that there were doing every thing in there power to find

him but four years passed and he was still nowhere to be found. it hurt me every day I

didn't see him and my pain turned to panic as I realized that the only thing that made

reasonable sense of why the seekers had not found Kyle would be if Kyle had died. but I

wouldn't let my self think like that here were still rumors that wild human have been seen

around the desert area in the south. Every night I had the same dream. he was holding me

in his arms rocking me back and forth the only difference between each dream was if he

was human or not. Always at one point or another, a flash of light would appear out of

nowhere and flash into both of our eyes sometimes his eyes glowed silver glinting against

the yellow light. at other times it stayed a dark clear blue and only blue. It irked me how

much I prayed in these dreams to not see the glint from his eyes. every day went like this.

I cried a lot but mostly to myself. my parents were worried about me they loved me more

than any daughter could be loved. but they had no idea what to do. I tried to stay strong

for them but it was hard and I was sure at times that they could see through me. the day I

saw Kyle again had started out like any other I had gone through my daily routine trying

not to sulk. doing the dishes, washing the laundry, and finishing my homework I called

up the seekers office to see I they had found Kyle yet but there was still no sign of him.

So I walked to my room and flopped onto my bed sure that the same routine would play

out tomorrow. The next thing I new there was a warm hand over my mouth and a familiar

voice whispering in my ear "If you move an inch I will, kill you"


	3. on the road

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In one swift movement Kyle yanked me off the bed and over his shoulder. I was in silent shock my head a blur, thoughts and questions berated me making no sense but also showing logic at the same time.

He was here, he was alive, and he came for _me_. How did he escape the seekers? Why did he come for me? What took him so long?

It all seemed too good to be true. Was any of this real then, or was this all just a dream. I have never dreamt of things happening this out of control but how could this be real? This was like some scene out of a fairytale. My handsome prince whisking me away from my dreary life. He would carry me back to a place where we would live happily ever after, it just didn't feel real.

I felt him tense under me and he slowly lifted me off of his shoulders. I froze glancing around for danger. My eyes met his and I saw there was pain and worry in his but as he took in my expression he relaxed and carried me to a jeep parked at the end of our street.

He placed me gently into the seat and then hopped in next to me. I stiffened eying a rope tangled in the backseat but as he buckled me in he seemed utterly oblivious.

He drove on for hours at some points driving off road, but my eyes never strayed form his face. I sat completely still taking in all his prefect features.

It saddened me that I saw that he was much older than the memories held. How long had he been gone? The years had blurred as I had waited for him to be found by the seekers.

As I took him in I also noticed his face had been brutally scarred. His nose looked as though it had been repeatedly broken and his left eye was yellowing from a recent bruise.

How had this happen? I wondered. Had he just gotten hurt hiding from the seekers or was he in association with other humans? I mentally shivered at the thought. Most humans were violent in nature and they had already been fighting among themselves before the souls came and linked them together with a common enemy.

The thought of him surrounded by wild humans scared me to death but it came clear to me that he probably _had _been hiding with humans. Not only would it explain the violent scars on her face but it also explained how he had gone so long escaping the seekers.

God was there no were on earth he was safe any more? Was his only option to stay with the violent humans or be taken by us?

It was then that I realized that I had never wanted a soul in Kyle's body but Kyle himself. I remembered how all that time I had wanted the seekers to find Kyle. I had somehow convinced myself that I wanted the seekers to find him. But now I saw I couldn't have been more wrong. Now the thought of him being forced into oblivion while a soul wore his body like a suit was physical pain.

Thinking about my beginning had left me with yet another problem. Jodi, or should I say Kyle's love for Jodi. Were all my feelings for Kyle in vain? What was the point in my heartbreaking over his very face if he hated me? Why wouldn't he hate me? How could he ever have feelings for me, he was Kyle, both strong and brave but at the same time tender and sweet. And what was I, a stupid alien who invaded his planet and stole his girl friends body. He must have hated my very species for destroying the world as he knew it.

Hurt tore through me as I realized this, he didn't really love me at all, just my host's body. He hadn't come for me he never wanted me; the years of holding back my painful emotions saved me now stopping the tears before they started.

But why had he even gone after me then he obviously knew about the souls being inserted into peoples heads and erasing them. How else would he have been able to survive all these years. So where was the logic then. Did he only love the body not whose mind it belonged to? As much as I wished that to be I knew it wasn't.

So what was the purpose then? It just didn't make sense.

I sat for a while after that not letting any of my troubles effect me just taking in all Kyle, features and imagining I could stay with him forever. After a while it dawned on me that something was missing. My memory had supplied me with his strong sure voice but other than his threat to me to stay quiet when I was still half a sleep I had not really heard his voice so I broke the silence and spoke to Kyle.

--------------------------------------------Bum bum bum---------------------------------------------

"You're Kyle" I said simply shocked that my voice had come out clear without betraying any of the emotions that racked through now. He answered me almost immediately

"Yeah and who are you" his voice was even more beautiful than my memory portrayed it so I answered quickly eager to here him again.

"Sunlight passing through the ice"

He whistled loudly "gee isn't that a mouthful, mind I call you Sunny for short?"

I nodded my head in agreement though it was really an understatement. He had a pet name for me, I felt if as if I was glowing.

We talked for the rest of the way there I explained to him how I had felt every day he was gone even though I knew he wouldn't feel the same. During those times he would just nod his head slowly in thought.

This never slowed me down. I had held my feelings in for too long and I felt intent on relentlessly telling him about my every thought from my birth and my time with the bears to my thoughts through the past years I had lived painfully without him. I had started to explain my insertion but I stopped quickly taking in the torment in his eyes.

"No tell me about her I… want to know every thing that had happened to her."

"She had been invited to her friend's house, of course she had no clue of what had been happening until it was too late."

He nodded his head for me to continue.

"They over powered her she had no chance. They inserted me as soon as possible but she had already realized what they wee going to do to her." I glanced at his eyes but the pain in them was too much so I quickly looked away.

"She thought of you the whole time. She prayed desperately that you would escape"

"Did she, is she still…"he didn't finish probably too hurt. I wondered what he meant but could make no sense of his words.

He changed the subject then asking me about what I had been doing as far as careers I told him about my different thoughts about callings and we drove on.

I looked out my window at the landscape around me noting, we were far from any road in a desert somewhere. They couldn't have been hiding here they would have died of thirst, I thought shaking my head.

He suddenly stopped the car with a jerk as if suddenly realizing something.

I herd him mumble "left the bandanna back home" as he franticly searched his pockets. Finding nothing he sighed and turned to me "sorry bout this they'll be mad enough as it is" with that he placed his warm hand over my eyes and continued driving.

We drove on for a little longer I suspected that he had taken many unnecessary turns

to get there but we finally parked. He crawled around me exiting from my side of the car never taking his hands of my eyes. He then carefully lifted me down from the seat and rested me on my feet. Once I was stable we started to trek across the uneven ground I stumbled a few times but he always caught me before I could fall. He finally stopped, and

I heard voices yelling of in the distance. He tensed." here we go". And we set off to face the violent humans awaiting us.

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	4. i don't want to leave

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Kyle's hand never left my eyes as he led me toward the voices. He had me duck and then I felt instead of the soft sand of the dessert, a hard solid terrain. I pondered this thinking back to the flat desert landscape I had seen earlier.

Where were we? I wondered would have asked this question out loud except for the rising hum of angry voices.

How many human's were there?

Their voices echoed across the room, and memory from my hosts body popped into my head. She was five, she and here family were taking a tour of a long cave that had held echo's similar to this. Her daddy showing her bats hanging overhead and she letting out a loud squeal of delight successfully frightening them off. The way there giggles bounced through the walls.

Were we in a cave then? That would easily explain how they had been able too hide so many humans for so long.

As Kyle led me he suddenly turned a sharp corner and lifted his hand of my I saw shocked me, there were so many humans! Even when I had heard the numerous voices I hadn't guessed this many.

They all glared at us with hate filled faces, yelling threats and making accusations.

I cringed and Kyle quickly pressed me protectively against a wall. He was franticly searching through the crowd all the while trying to reason with the bloodthirsty humans.

How could he think to reason with them they would hurt him. From his scars I already knew they had hurt him. I wanted to shield him from there evil threats but he held his arms back stopping me from coming forward.

The worst of it was that his own brother was in front of the crowd leading the mob of angry voices with another strong well built man.

"Back off Jared you're scaring her" his strong voice echoed through the caves.

"What were you thinking?"

"How dare you?"

"Why'd you come back at all?"

My eyes swept the crowd next wondering who he was looking for but no one stepped forward. My eyes locked with a 2 red hared woman a mother and daughter both staring at me with exceptionally hate filled eyes.

I wanted so badly to break their gaze. But they held my eyes in theirs glaring with revulsion.

I was broken out of their glare by Kyle's voice flooding with relief. "Wanda? _There_ you are! Could you _please_ come and give me a little help here?"

I saw an old man with a long gray beard part the way through the vicious crowd, behind there was a lean tan girl trailing with a look of shock and relief across her face.

The shocking thing was the ring of silver around her brown eyes. She is a soul too I though my self.

The man was practically growly at the crowd of angry humans. "That's enough. You'll get a chance to dress 'im down later. We all will. Let's get this sorted out first, okay? Let me through,"

They made there way to the front and faced us after a long moment the man spoke up.

"Okay, Kyle. Don't try to excuse yourself, 'cause there ain't no excuse. I'm plain torn between kickin' ya out and shootin' ya now."

He slapped a gun and my jaw dropped in horror. My eyes franticly looking for some way to get Kyle out of here. But I had no idea where the exits were since Kyle had covered my eyes.

The man took in my expression and his resolve softened.

"But right now, let's calm everybody down."

He then glared at the crowd lifting his gun again. I cringed.

"Kyle's got a guest, and you're scarin' the snot out of her, people. I think you can all dig up some better manners than that. Now, all of you clear out and get to work on something useful. My cantaloupes are dying. Somebody do something about that, hear?"

The humans grudgingly went back to there work. Of course they were disappointed by the avoidance of violence, they liked violence, they wanted it.

Kyle untensed as the crowd left but I didn't loosen my rigid position.

"Thanks, Jeb"

"Shut the hell up, Kyle. Just keep your fat mouth shut. I'm dead serious about shooting you, you worthless maggot."

I whimpered behind him.

"Okay, could you save the death threats until we're alone? She's terrified enough. You remember how that kind of stuff freaks Wanda out"

I looked at Wanda who had a shocked expression on her face.

Kyle flashed her a grin and kept going. "See Sunny this is Wanda, the one I told you about "she'll help us -she won't let anyone hurt you, just like me." I stared at Wanda waiting for a response, and Kyle hugged me closer to his chest. I clung to him as though my life depended on it.

"Kyle's right I won't let anyone hurt you" Kyle breathed out a large sigh of relief but I kept my tense position.

"You're name is Sunny?"

My eyes flashed towards Kyle knowing how deeply fear shown in it. I didn't want to talk these strangers I could barely trust Wanda and she was a soul but she didn't act like a soul she didn't cringe in fear as a normal soul would have if surrounded by hating humans, and Jeb who carried a gun around so casually.

Kyle took in my expression a hurried to comfort me "It's okay. You don't have to be afraid of Wanda. She's just like you." he then turned back to Wanda.

"Her real name is longer―something about ice."

"Sunlight Passing Through The Ice" my answer came out as barely more than a whisper.

Kyle quickly added to my shy answer. "She doesn't mind being called just Sunny, though. She said it was fine,"

I glanced quickly at Wanda and Kyle looking at both there encouraging faces and relaxed a little and felt the tension in the air subside.

After a few minutes Wanda spoke "I was a Bear, too, Sunny, They called me Lives in the Stars, then. Wanderer, here.

"Lives in the Stars," I whispered, my eyes widening with recognition. "Rides the Beast."

"You lived in the second crystal city, I guess," Wanda practically groaned.

"Yes. I heard the story so many times…"I answered my voice trailing off.

Wanda quickly changed the subject suddenly "Did you like being a Bear, Sunny? Were you happy there?"

My face crumpled at the question my eyes locked onto Kyle's beautiful face realizing I wouldn't have long to see eyes filled with tears. Wanda said she was sorry but that didn't change anything. A simple sorry wouldn't let me stay with Kyle.

Kyle patted my arm and I savored the warmth that spread through me knowing this could be the last time I felt it.

"Don't be afraid. You won't be hurt. I promised." didn't he understand, every time he was away from me I was unknowingly giving an empty promise.

"But I like it here. I want to stay. "My voice was barely a whisper.

"I know, Sunny. I know." Kyle put his hand on the back of my head and held my face to his strong sturdy chest.

How many times had I dreamed of him holding me like this and now he did it as a goodbye.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Jeb clearing his throat. I jumped and cringed as the emotions in me, hit like a wrecking ball.

"Sorry, Sunny," Jeb apologized. "Didn't mean to scare you, there. Maybe we ought to get out of here, though." He looked around the cave at a few humans lingering by listening in on our conversations my gaze followed his and I felt a small prick of relief that the red headed girl and her mother were not here to enjoy my pain. Jeb went on "Probably ought to git along to Doc." he gave me almost a wistful glance that under different circumstances would have bothered me.

"Right." Kyle said starting to pull me briskly fowards. It hurt me how eagerly he pulled me, he wanted me gone and I felt my heart shred into splinters.

I heard Jeb talking to the little boy from behind me but my head was so shrouded in misery that I couldn't make out the words he was saying.

As we walked Kyle murmured a weak assurance to me. "its okay, theres nothing that's going to hurt you, and I'm here."

Only the last three words worked as a comfort for me, and I knew that that much wouldn't stick, for he was here, but I wouldn't be.

"Wanda was talking about a healer, behind me their words made note of things like "she woke up and can't remember her name" and "that she was still afraid of humans"

After a while the walk in the silent caves became unbearable. "Kyle?"

"Yes"

"I don't want to go back to the bears"

"You don't have to you can go somewhere else."

"But I can't stay here?"

"No. I'm sorry Sunny."

My breathing hitched as tears ran down my face.

We suddenly got to the end of the tunnel, and there was a bright room with natural sunlight streaming from cracks in the eyes squinted adjusting to bright natural light.

There was a man sitting beside a young woman he was talking to her encouraging her to remember, did she have amnesia? I wondered, worried for the young woman.

Wanda entered the room with a small hello and the woman gave out a small shriek

"That's the soul" she whispered anxiously to the man sitting next her.

"Yes, but she's a friend"

The woman didn't look convinced.

Wanda introduce us all stumbling on my name.

The woman saw that I was a soul and whispered to the man "is there any more"

The man cleared his throat and answered "Yes all... well, mostly humans," he was staring at me questioningly.

They started talking about someone named Trudy and I used this as a distraction to look around the roomn. The room was probably their hospital I thought examining the different cabinets with cans labeled Heal, Seal. There were two gurneys pushed to the ends of the room and with a closer look I noticed that the woman had been sitting on a third one. On a table next to her was a scalpel and I was barely able to hold back my tears. But as I lifted my head I saw some Cryotanks lit up beside the desk I couldn't hold back a gasp of shock.

"Oh!"

Some how seeing the tanks with the blinking red lights made it final. They were going to send me away from Kyle. I would never see him again. My eyes filled with tears and they created a steady stream down my face. I buried my face into Kyle's chest not even trying to hold them back.

"I don't want to go! I want to stay with you," I moaned in grief.

"I know, Sunny. I'm sorry."

She didn't know, I had waited for years for Kyle to come, cried for him every night. She knew nothing of my heart break.

Sobs ran continuously down my face.

Wanda murmured something to Kyle and he ripped me from my grip. "No no," I begged him.

"It's okay," Wanda promised. "He's not going anywhere. I just want to ask you a few questions."

Kyle pulled me again from my grip and turned me to face Wanda, I gripped her refusing to be left behind.

She led us to the farthest corner of the room and had us sit down on the floor facing the wall.

"Jeez, I didn't think it would be like this. This really sucks," He muttered to Wanda.

"How did you find her? And catch her? What happened? Why is she like this?" Wanda asked.

I cried on Wanda's shoulder unfazed by her questions.

So Kyle explained everything to Wanda. He told her how he went to Vegas and how he grabbed me right out of my bedroom and how we talked.

"She didn't mind talking to me at all. She wasn't afraid like I'd thought she'd be. So we talked," he explained. "Then I started to think about how Sunny had looked, how she had acted. She was so.... She was happy to see me," he finally said.

"I used to dream about him all the time," I whispered. "Every night. I kept hoping the Seekers would find him; I missed him so much**…** When I saw him, I thought it was the old dream again."

Kyle laid his had on my wet cheak. "She's a good kid, Wanda. Can't we send her someplace really nice?"

I was touched by this he wanted me happy at would he realize I would never be happy without him?

"That's what I wanted to ask her about," Wanda said she then turned to me. "Where have you lived, Sunny?"

"Just here and with the Bears. I was there five life terms. But I like it better here. I haven't had even a quarter of a life term here!"

"I know. Believe me, I understand. Is there anywhere else, though, that you've ever wanted to go? The Flowers, maybe? It's nice there; I've been,"

"I don't want to be a plant." the idea of being a plant had never appealed to me. I had always been warm blooded the idea of being a plant was not very pleasant.

"The Spiders..." Wanda trailed off.

"I'm tired of cold. And I like colors."

"I know," Wanda sighed. "I haven't been a Dolphin, but I hear it's nice there. Color, mobility, family…"

"They're all so far away. By the time I got anywhere, Kyle would be… He'd be…" I burst into tears again.

"Don't you have any other choices? Aren't there a lot more places out there?" Kyle asked liking that idea as much I did.

"Not that the off-world ships are going to," Wanda said, shaking her head. "There are lots of worlds, but only a few, mostly the newer ones, are still open for settling. And I'm sorry, Sunny, but I have to send you far away. The Seekers want to find my friends here, and they'd bring you back if they could, so you could show them the way."

"I don't even know the way," I sobbed. "He covered my eyes."

Kyle and Wanda exchanged glances as if asking each other what to do next.

"It's just the Bears, the Flowers, and the Dolphins. I won't send her to the Fire Planet."

I shivered at the name.

Wanda tried a last attempt to comfort me "Don't worry, Sunny. You'll like the Dolphins. They'll be nice. Of course they'll be nice."

Wanda abruptly changed the subject "Sunny, I need to ask you about Jodi." I felt Kyle stiffen and I held him tighter.

"What about her?" I mumbled

"Is she… is she in there with you? Can you hear her?"

I stiffened and looked up at Wanda shocked by the question, it made no sense. "I don't understand what you mean."

"Does she ever talk to you? Are you ever aware of her thoughts?" this didn't clear anything up for me. "My… body's? Her thoughts? She doesn't have any. I'm here now."

Wanda just nodded slowly.

"Is that bad?" Kyle whispered.

"I don't know enough about it to tell. It's probably not good, though," Wanda muttered.

I felt Kyle tense again.

"How long have you been here, Sunny?" Wanda asked.

I frowned thinking of the blur that was my life without Kyle. "How long is it, Kyle? Five years? Six? You disappeared before I came home."

"Six," Kyle answered.

"And how old are you?" she asked me.

"I'm twenty-seven."

"Why does that matter?" Kyle asked almost as confused as I was.

"I'm not sure. It just seems like the more time someone spent as a human before they became a soul, the better chance they might have at… making a recovery. The greater the percentage of their life they spent human, the more memories they have, the more connections, the more years being called by the right name… I don't know."

"Is twenty-one years enough?" desperation leaked through his voice.

"I guess we'll find out," she said.

They were all set to get rid of me and I hadn't even gotten to spend a day with Kyle.

It's not fair!" I cried not ready to give up. "Why do you get to stay? Why can't I stay, if you can?"

"That wouldn't be fair, would it? But I don't get to stay, Sunny. I have to go, too. And soon. Maybe we'll leave together. I have to go, Sunny, just like you. I have to give my body back, too."

"What?" Ian's voice shot through the silent caves and I jumped.

He glared at us no at Wanda and I shivered at the hatred in his eyes.

What happen to him the sweet little brother had been changed dramatically. First he was yelled death threats at his brother and now this?

"Ian? What's the problem?" Kyle asked bewildered by Ian's sudden rage.

"Wanda," Ian practically growled he held his hand out I could tell it took all his control not to make it a fist.

Ian grabbed Wanda and towed her to her feet. When I came with her clinging to her arm, he shook Wanda until I let go.

"What is _with_ you?" Kyle demanded impatience leaking into his voice.

And Ian hauled his knee back and smashed his foot hard into Kyle's face.

No! I thought and I flung myself in front of Kyle who was holding his hand to his nose while blood dripped to the floor. I tried to shield Kyle using my frail body. But I only made it worse and Kyle lost his balance and fell back to the ground.

"C'mon," Ian snarled, dragging Wanda to the exit of the hospital.

"Ian―"

He wrenched Wanda roughly away and then I turned back to Kyle.

There was blood all over the floor and Doc was handing him a towel.

"Shit" Kyle cursed under his breath as he wiped the blood of his face. I just stood there in shock as Doc handed Kyle a can of heal and went to clean off the blood from the floor. I quickly jumped to help wife the floor off seeing how little good just standing there did.

Behind me I heard the voice of the other man who had been at the front of the line to threaten Kyle.

"Have you lost your mind, Ian? What are you doing to her?"

"Did you know about this" Ian shouted back.

I turned and saw Ian roughly shaking Wanda in the mans face and I whimpered worried for Wanda.

"You're going to hurt her!" the man shouted

"Do you know what she's planning?" Ian roared.

The mans eyes fell to the floor giving Ian all the answer he needed. He pulled back his fist and I flinched eyes closed. I didn't see it but I heard it a sickening thud.

I turned to Kyle, whose nose was already half healed, and hugged him tight whimpering.

It's okay shh. Its okay no ones going to hurt you.

The man walked in with a swollen eye and Doc quickly turned his attention on him.

"Jared are you okay here let me find some no pain..."

Jared answered him calmly "No Doc I'm fine save the meds for someone else"

"Kay" Doc answered turning his attention back on Kyle.

The heal had done its job well other than the blood stains on his shirt there was no evidence of his injury. I let out a sigh of relief that brought me back to Kyle's attention. I saw that he was thinking hard his face conflicted with it set into a hard mask.

Kyle murmured under his breath "better get it over with"

I looked up at him with horror. "Not yet "I whispered. It was too soon I wouldn't even get to say goodbye to Wanda. I had barely spent any time with Kyle. I wasn't ready yet.

I saw his face twitch and then return to its emotionless mask. "Sorry" he mumbled and then lifted me onto a gurney.

He held me down and called to Doc to get the chloroform. I didn't fight I just sat there under his powerful grip trying, and failing to hold back tears.

Doc walked back slowly, stalling I could tell from his expression that he didn't want to do it. To have to blame himself.

I didn't want to see any more so I shut my eyes and pretended while tears seeped through. I imagined that I was allowed to stay with Kyle that we got old together and had children. That he would kiss me and whisper that he loved me. That he would never leave my side and we would never me separated.

I felt a warm cloth held over my mouth and nose and I slowly lost consciousness.

My last thought was "Goodbye Kyle, I love you."

And then I was gone.

I know sad = (

sorry it took me so long to update this was the hardest chapter yet because i had to copy it directly from the book and its the longest truth it that i had written a better version of this chapter last week but a viris got into my computer and deleted everything.i was so fed up at the idea of re-writing it that i almost just quit on the only reason i didnt was because i was getting messages that said people were still adding my story to favorites. if people were waiting this long for me to update it would be rude to disapoint them now.

and for all of you people who are wondering why i havent brought a Jodi back yet she will probably apear in ch.6

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	5. while i was gone

**yay i've finally updated its a very long story of why it took so long i won't even go into it but yay im finally updated**

Tears filled my eyes as I was forced to re-live my last minutes: Kyle holding me down on a hospital bed as I sat, not fighting just crying helplessly as Doc walks towards me slowly with the chloroform. I lose my vision and realized that this was when I was to be taken away from my life, my dreams and Kyle. What shocked me was that the memory didn't stop there.

I realized with a jolt that the new memories that ran through my head weren't mine.

Kyle's voice rang loud and clear through my ears. "Jodi, Jodi wake up come on it's me Kyle. Jodi come back to me." there was a stir from the back of my head in the memory .It was a pull Jodi was trying to pull herself back into reality, but years of being held captive in her own mind had weakened her and she failed at her attempt.

And I heard docs voice next. "Have patience Kyle she'll come when she's ready. I feel a slight pressure on my wrist and hear Doc counting under his breath.

Kyle just sighed and went back to calling her name softly. After a while I here footsteps echoing down the hall who do they belong to I wondered. My question is answered seconds later.

"You'll want to be careful with that" it was Wanda's voice and I wondered idly what she was talking about.

"Yeah doc told me that, I'm being careful. I just didn't want to leave her alone over there she was so sad and so... sweet."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate it if she knew."

There was silence for a moment then I heard Kyle's voice again. "Is there something I'm supposed to be doing here? Is there some way I can help?"

"Talk to her, say her name, talk to her about things she'll remember. Talk about Sunny even that helped with the healer's host."

'Mandy" doc corrected her. "She says it's not exactly right but it close"

"Mandy" Wanda repeated slowly taking it in. "were it she?"

"With Trudy, that was a good call, she exactly the right person. I think she's gotten her to sleep."

"That's good Mandy will be okay."

"I hope so; I've got lots of questions for her"

Another point of pressure on my arm and Wanda spoke again "like this Kyle, Jodi? Jodi, can you here me Kyle's waiting for you. He got himself into a lot of trouble getting you here- very one who knows him wants to beat him senseless.

Jodi pitifully struggles to pull herself back into reality at this, and I feel a strong urge to help her but it was a memory and all I could do was watch, she fails and disappears again.

Shockingly it's Ian who speaks next. I could not tell the difference myself but Jodi could easily tell the two apart by voice.

"Not that your surprised to here that. When hasn't that been the case, eh Jodi? It's good to see you again sweet-heart, though I wonder if you feel the same. Must have been a nice break to get rid of this idiot for so long."

And then Kyle's voice, when comparing the two I did notice a slightly huskier tone in his voice.

"You remember Ian, of course. Never has managed to catch up to me in anything, but he keeps trying. Hey Ian you got anything you want to say to me?"

"Not really."

"I'm waiting for an apology."

"Keep waiting"

"Can you believe he kicked me in the face Jodes? For no reason at all."

"Who needs an excuse, eh Jodi?"

Wanda spoke again "keep it up Kyle that's just right she'll come around."

There was a silence before Kyle spoke again "Wanda?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"Um...why?"

"For trying to kill you, guess I was wrong."

I was horrified and confused; Kyle had tried to kill Wanda? Despite his attitude I couldn't believe he could ever really kill some one. The thought of him doing such a violent act physically hurt me. I couldn't understand it so I didn't even try; I forced my self not to think about it and to just watch the memory go on.

"Ian gasped."Please tell me you have some kind of recording device available, Doc."

"Nope. Sorry, Ian." Doc shrugged.

"This moment should be preserved. I never thought I'd live to see the day that Kyle O'Shea would admit to being wrong. C'mon, Jodi. That ought to _shock_ you awake," Ian said.

Jodi desperately tried to pull herself back into reality, hearing the two brothers laugh and call for her. It hurt me to feel her pain and desperation.

"Jodi, baby, don't you want to defend me? Tell Ian I never _have_ been wrong before," Kyle chuckled.

This was the first time he had really laughed. Its sound warmed my heart but also filled me with sadness. He had never laughed around me he was always serious and sullen as though someone had died. If you thought about it maybe that was exactly how he felt Jodi had died and now that I was gone and Jodi would be back and Kyle was free of all his misery. He didn't care that I was gone as long as Jodi would be with him. My heart throbbed.

I heard Wanda move away from the cot "I'm tired, Ian,"

"I'll bet you are. Did you stay up with the Heal―with Mandy all night?" he asked.

"Yeah," she yawned.

"Have a nice night, Doc," Ian said, heading to where I guessed was the exit with Wanda. "Good luck, Kyle. We'll be back in the morning."

"Night, Kyle. See you, Doc," Wanda murmured.

After they had left Kyle spoke to doc "I'm tired too come to speak of it" he pulled another cot over next to mine and laid down on wheels almost silently gliding across the floor he wrapped an arm around me/Jodi. (I didn't have a clue why his other arm was still occupied) and fell asleep. I could have stayed that way forever happy being held close to Kyle never having to leave his side...

I stayed with that holding that part of the memory to me for dear life. After I a while I noticed soft sobs coming from the opposite end of the room, it was doc. this confused me, earlier every one had been happy to be getting Jodi back. I was the only one who had a reason to cry. I was being sent far away back to the bears not only would I never see him again but by the time I got there he would dead. How I would live with it I had no clue, for me and existence without Kyle wasn't a life at all.

I was pondering painfully on that thought when I heard Wanda come.

Why is Wanda here I thought she'd left just a half hour ago to get some sleep. Why was she back here?

"Hey Doc" she whispered. She sounded as though she had been crying too.

I heard walk over to my side of the room and hop onto an empty cot.

There was silence except for the sound of a lid being softly screwed off a bottle.

Then Wanda asked a question.

"Tell me something, Doc. What's your real name?"

Doc sniffed and the spoke.

"Eustace. It's a family name, and my parents were cruel people"

Wanda laughed once and then sighed.

"Jared's waiting, back by the big cave. I promised him you'd tell him when it was over. Just wait until I - until I…stop moving, okay? It will be too late for him to do anything about my decision then"

Reality slammed through me like a wrecking ball. Why Doc had been crying. Why Wanda had come back here after she told everyone that she was going to bed. She was leaving too. Like me she wouldn't get to stay on this planet. I remember her telling me earlier that we might leave together. And I remembered Ian's reaction.

He wouldn't let her leave but she felt she had too. So she had lied to them. She was leaving anyway.

She was so good. It hurt me that I couldn't be brave and do the right thing. That I wouldn't have left Kyle had they given me the choice. Not for any one. I knew it was wrong and I new it was selfish and I was ashamed to admit it but I just couldn't.

Meanwhile the memory went on.

"I don't want to do this Wanda"

"I know thanks for that, Doc. But I'm holding you to your promise."

"Please?"

"No. You gave me your word. I did my part, didn't I?"

"You did."

"Then do yours. Let me stay with Walt and Wes."

I didn't know who Walt was but I recognized the name Wes. I'd heard two people murmuring about him when we had first entered the cave. They had mentioned that he was a large loss to the group and wondering what a girl named Lily would do without him. I could gather from that that poor Wes had died. When Wanda said she wanted to stay with him she didn't mean… she wanted to die.

The funny thing about it though was that I could see exactly what her motivation was. Hadn't I been hurting at the thought of being sent far away, to never see Kyle again? How could I not understand her pain in leaving the man she so dearly loved when I was going through the exact same thing? Wouldn't death be a relief now? Something to stop the pain of heartbreak and loss? But still a world with out Wanda, I couldn't imagine it.

"Will you be… in pain?"

"No, Doc," she lied. "I won't feel anything."

"Put me under, Doc."

The bottle opened. I heard him shake it onto the cloth in his hand.

"You are the noblest, purest creature I've ever met. The universe will be a darker place without you," he whispered.

Tears streamed through my eyes as the memory ended and I was left alone in silence.

But not really because seconds after the memory ended I became aware of voices around me. Not really voices just one voice the voice of person who my whole life revolved around. His voice was calling my name. Sunny, sunny can you here me? Sunny everything going to be okay sweetie, open your eyes we're waiting for you.

I opened my eyes, of course was there anything I wouldn't do for that voice, and was met with two of the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen they gleamed with joy though I saw pain hidden deep within them.

"Hey Sunny welcome back."

**hope you liked it review or else i will curse you with 10 million years of bad juju **


	6. my world is torn apart

**yay next chapter... and ****it's pretty obviouse that i don't own the host other wise Ian would ditch wanda and mary me.**

6 months later…

Life in the caves had finally settled down. No more drama. Everything was as it was supposed to be.

We were all sitting in the kitchen hearing Wanda's stories, she truly was amazing the way she spoke, the crowd was perfectly silent hanging on her ever word. I laid with my head on Kyle's lap as he stroked my hair softly in thought.

I glanced up at his face and saw it was deeply troubled and pained, his eyes scrunched tight and lips slightly curved down. I sighed guessing on his train of thought. It had been 6 months since Kyle had brought me here and 6 years since Jodi had truly been lost. And yet Kyle still held Jodi in his thoughts as if she had just died yesterday. He didn't bring it up in his words but you could always tell when his thoughts traveled to her.

In truth Jodi's return was my biggest fear. If she returned she would take everything I had away from me. My life here in the caves, and the man I loved. My being here rested on the one fact that Jodi had disappeared. If she came back I would be sent away like was originally planned. If by the slim chance they decided to just find me another unresponsive host my life was still going to be stolen away from me. Because Jodi would take Kyle back, and Kyle _was_ my life.

I sighed again and tried to divert my thoughts, I decided to focus on Wanda.

She was awkwardly telling the crowd about how the souls had come here.

She didn't know much about it but she was telling her the little she did know, describing with unease how the souls had little by little infiltrated there lives until the whole human race was taken. Most of the crowd had tears in their eyes and I felt Kyle's arm tighten around me.

"But that doesn't mean they've won. Every day we save more people and they usually comeback…" I turned my head and saw it was Paige who spoke. Her words were like a blanket over the crowd soothing and assuring them.

"Yah but there's always that number of people who don't come back" "those whose lives have been erased by your souls" she said it with a sneer and I shivered. I didn't need to turn to see who said it. Shannon and Maggie had always hated me and Wanda, and Maggie had refused to even come. Shannon only came because Doc came every night and he was so busy in the day that she never got to see him. And though I would never say a word I thought she felted challenged by how much time he spent with Candy in the hospital.

She came with doc to listen to the stories, it doesn't mean she had to enjoy them.

Ian was of course quick to defend.

"She's done her best Shannon you know that. Ever since Wanda's come here she's done nothing but help, and yet here you are blaming her for something she's had no part in. You don't think that she'd give up everything she has here in a heartbeat if she could have stopped the souls from ever coming here? What have you done for us in comparison, except making life in the caves harder for us?

Do you know what Wanda's been through for being so selfless not only has she risked her life for us numerous times but she has done you a personal favor.

She brought your cousin Melanie back have you ever shown any gratitude for that?

No just the opposite you still treat her like she's shit.

Did you know that Melanie disappeared once while they were still sharing a body? Wanda was faced with a choice she could choose to fight to get her back breaking Wanda's heart in the process or she could just live with it saving her all the pain and torture she felt when having to share her life.

And you know what she didn't even consider it!

Wanda _kissed_ Jared. Did you know that? She did because she knew it was the one thing that really brought Melanie back. Melanie was never as aware as she was when Jared kissed her. Obviously it worked but at what expense?

Wanda was torn up emotionally because it she was scarred but in all senses she regretted nothing she's given so much so really if you can really justify your hatred for her go ahead please we would all love to here it."

Shannon just stood there mouth gaping open as she struggled for words.

I felt Kyle's arms stiffen around me. My eyes widened as he lifted me up in one fluid motion taking himself up as well.

And he kissed me.

He kissed _me._

I was totally over come with emotion. Love flooded through me like a giant wave sweeping away any other thought in my mind. Every nerve in my body was focused on his beautiful lips soft and tender on mine. Every good feeling possible to feel was on me joy, happiness, bliss, emotions unnamable overcame me. I was overcome with emotion

It was beautiful the kiss.

Then my world shattered. In the back of my mind I felt Jodi coming back stronger than I had ever felt her. Not at all like weak and half hearted try's to get her self back into reality while I was gone but a full determination to bring herself back. I felt her first thought. Kyle. Her last memory played out in my head again, her own emotions clashing with mine, desperation, fear, panic, dread.

"Not Kyle!" she screamed loud in my head. More desperation. To protect Kyle to do something to stop them from doing the same thing to Kyle as they had done to her. Alarm phased through her when she realized she had to control over her arms. Legs. Anything! She fought desperately against my hold on her on my body she had to escape to gain back her body. I urgently tried to hold her down at first trying to put her back to where ever she had gone before but eventually just focused on holding control over my body. It took every ounce of my strength. My fear and panic clashing with her horror and desperation. Kyle was still kissing me passionately, oblivious to the nerve wrecking fight in my head.

As Jodi fought she began to realize what had brought her back in the first place. Kyle was kissing her. No kissing me. Anger flooded through her fueling her struggle even more. Tears streamed through my eyes as I fought her back barely keeping her at bay. Kyle stopped and looking me in the eyes. I knew he saw all the pain and hurt in them.

"Jodi?" he asked soft almost pleading.

I burst into tears and ran out of the kitchen faster than I had ever run in my life.

"Wait. Sunny, no I'm sorry"

But I kept running heartbreak tearing huge gaps in my chest. I felt it was harder to breath it was like he had ripped my heart straight from my chest. I could hear Kyle's struggles behind me. Ian and Jared must have held him back, but I knew they couldn't hold him back for long so I sped faster.

Behind me I could here them yelling at him. Asking him if he had even cared to think about how his little test would affect me. But Kyle kept silent. I knew it was because he thought it had failed. That he hadn't been able to bring Jodi back. But it had and he had officially ruined my life.

I didn't know were I was running I just had to get as far away from him as possible. Because I didn't know how long I could hold Jodi back. And if she took control I didn't want Kyle to see.

I ended up in lily's room. It was the perfect place really, and I couldn't run any further so I crawled to the corner of the room and curled up into a ball rocking back and forth as pain wracked through me. And as Jodi fought against me resiliently still struggling to take control.

I was so hurt by Kyle that he had done this to me. That he had kissed me just to bring back the person who would in all senses ruin my life.

I stayed like that for hours just rocking back and forth fighting back both Jodi and the pain when light footsteps walked into the room and an almost bluish light flashed in my eyes.

"Oh dear god Sunny" she ran over to me and wrapped her arm around me trying to comfort me as my chest convulsed with sobs.

"I really shouldn't have been shocked that she was the one to find me I had chosen her room over everyone else's to hide in. so I let lily hold me as my world tore apart.

**okay peoples i need your help. i have two more chapters planned out one is jodi's pov of what just happened in this chapter and one is kyles pov but then i need to know what happens next as far as story line. like sunny is planned to go on a raid soon and now she ends up raiding with jodi or maybe jodi gaining control at one idea is a good idea. even if you don't have an idea reveiw any way. it makes me feel special. **=)


	7. coming back jodi's POV

**For everyone who is wondering why I didn't wait till Friday to update I couldn't help it I was dieing to put up this next chapter so here it is read review and stuff.**

**Disclaimer- hmmm… list of things I own –dog –pillow -computer -half eaten cup of frozen yogurt Nope the host isn't on there **

**Here's my next chapter, Jodi's P.O.V. as promised **

My last thought was please be safe Kyle…

"Jodi? Jodi, can you here me Kyle's waiting for you. He got himself into a lot of trouble getting you here- every one who knows him wants to beat him senseless"…

"I never thought I'd live to see the day that Kyle O'Shea would admit to being wrong. C'mon, Jodi. That ought to _shock_ you awake,"…

Kyle…

There's nothing. I am nothing, floating in nonexistent space. Erased from the life that I had once.

Kyle…

I feel a faint tug dragging me into a blur of light up ahead.

Kyle…

The tug becomes a pull and in the distance I see a haze as the light gets more focused.

Kyle…

The tug becomes a yank and I struggle to come back into reality I feel a force trying to push me back down into the nothingness but I fight it back. I'm not going to disappear again.

Kyle …

As I wrenched myself into reality my last memories played through my mind, I had to escape I was struggling against Julia's grip, being cuffed to the table as though I was going to be dissected, connecting the glittering worm from the tank to the silver sheen in my best friends eyes, dear god had they gotten Kyle was he some how able to escape.

Desperation. Fear. Panic. Dread.

Not Kyle! I have to do _something_ anything to protect Kyle, to do something to stop Kyle from being caught by them. I had to stop them from infesting him with the glittering worms.

Like they had done to me.

I tried to move my arms and was horrified to realize that I had no control over them. Legs nothing. I gasped but only in my mind, my whole body was unresponsive.

I fought to gain some control but the invisible force that had tried to force me back into the darkness was back again restraining me from any use of my body. It started out trying to once again to sentence me to my prison of oblivion. But I fought it. I was never going back there.

Eventually it led its focus on just stopping me from getting any control of my body what so ever. I was fighting with every thing in me desperation and horror pulsing through me as I fought to gain control of something, anything. While I was fighting for control I began to notice that the pull that had first brought me back was still there. Urging me to fight back harder to really come back.

I looked through the eyes that I had no control of and finally saw what had brought me back, it was Kyle. He was kissing me. No he was kissing _her. _Hurt and anger rolled through me in waves. The worm really had taken every thing away from me. It had taken control of my body and erased my mind.

Worse it had taken Kyle.

Rage I didn't know I could ever hold in me filled me. They had gotten to Kyle, taken over him too. I had to take back control. What if he was trapped like me without control of anything. Or worse what if he was erased like I had been. I would find a way, any way to get him back. But first I had to get back control of my own body.

I pushed with all my might against her defenses but she held me back, I could feel her force comparing to mine and I saw the obvious that she was winning, but I also saw that it wasn't by much.

All of the sudden the pull stopped and Kyle looked up into my, no right now it was her eyes.

Pure hurt ran through me this time not accompanied by anger and hatred. When his eyes caught mine/hers I realized that he had no shine in his eyes, no silver that I was expecting just the perfect blue of his eyes. Part of was wonderfully relieved Kyle was safe he was neither enslaved nor erased. He had escaped. The other half was horrified and heart broken, he was kissing the creature that had tried to not only take over my body but to erase my mind. This creature was one of the millions that had taken over our race he had escaped them and now here _he_ was, not another parasite in control of him himself had willingly kissed it. He had kissed my murderer.

He looked into my/her eyes and asked one name.

"Jodi?"

I would have burst into to tears if I had any control of my eyes, ran away if I had any control of my feet. The shocking thing was that my captor did both.

As we were running off I heard Kyle call to her in the distance.

"Wait. Sunny, no I'm sorry"

She kept running but I still fought. I wanted to run I wanted to be able to do something to know I have control of anything. We ended up in a corner in one of the rooms and she curled into a corner and started to cry.

How sick was that? I wake up to realize that I have no control of my body and that the creature that had taken control of me was kissing my fiancé. And she was the one crying!

I could never forget the day that he proposed to me. It started out with a clear blue sky on the beach when we were on a trip to Florida. And ended up with us running for a mile and a half back home in the pouring rain. It started out with him locking us out of his car when we stopped to get gasoline on the way there. So we walked hand in had up to the beach. When we got there he brought to this amazing cave that you had to get to from under water. We stayed in there for hours playing, talking and just plain goofing off. I guess he planned to propose to me at sunset because he kept checking his watch. But when we swam back to the shore it was pelting down rain.

He was so stubborn that he refused to leave until the sun came out. At first I thought he was just being crazing making us sit out there in the hammering rain and rushing wind but I listened any way, why because I would do anything for him. So we waited until the sun just peaked out from beneath a cloud and he proposed to me. He dropped the ring of course, twice but the third time was the charm. I said yes and we kissed dripping from head to two. Then the storm picked up again and we ended up running back to our hotel room cutting through the hurling wind still our bathing suits (our cloths were still in the car) laughing all the way. Later we found out that we had been caught at the edge on a small hurricane. How many people can say they were proposed to in the middle of a hurricane?

How cow could we have guessed that anything like this was going to happen? How did this happen? Physically it was easy to understand they came, took over my life and thus I'm gone. But how could the perfect world where Kyle had offered to spend his life with me as husband and wife turn into this, a world where parasites took over your body and erased your mind.

I had to tell him that I was here to tell him that I loved him and to beg him to change his mind. But I couldn't until I escaped. So I fought hard forcing my energy against her control searching for ay weak points in her guard.

After a while I became aware of a soft set of footsteps coming towards her hiding place.

I was suddenly blinded by luminescent blue light that flashed in my eyes. I hated the silver shine in them so much. Because it meant my loss. It showed that she had control of me, my body under the parasites control.

"Oh dear god Sunny" the girl suddenly ran over so me/her and wrapped her arms around her to try to comfort her. The first thing I looked for were her eyes. No silver. She was human too.

I was mixed with confusion. Once again we had a human in these caves her were totally fine with housing my murderer in there caves.

Did they not know that she was one of them? Did they not notice the silver glow that proved my murder? If they had escaped they must have known about the parasites taking over. right?

I fought again to gain control of my lips my mouth I needed to tell her I'm here.

And as I pushed my desperation onto my goal I felt the alien's control waver and I realized that I had gained control of my mouth even if only for a few seconds…

**Shame on all of you! Shame, shame, shame I only got 1 review on the last chapter**

**People I know a bunch of you read my last**** chapter how dare you not review it. A thousand years of bad juju shall curse you all except ****x XRoweenaJAugustineX x she's totally awesome for sending me a review. So she gets a free pie and it's cherry look how spoiled I've made her and no one else gets one because they didn't review. Now if you review the next chapter you might find a magical cupcake with your name on it so review, review, review!**

**Oh! And I put a poll up on who do you like better Jodi or Sunny it will probably influence the story so please answer it. **

**Did I mention review? **


	8. i've done enough damage kyle's POV

**i will be on vacatin next week and there won't probably be internet so sorry if i can't update.**

**DISCLAIMER- blah blah blah i own dog shit stephanie myer owns the host**

**and here's Kyles P.O.V. as promised**

I think it hurt more now, having Jodi's body with me every day seeing her talk and move but knowing that Jodi was gone forever, than when we were separated, even though I still knew that she was never coming back. Maybe it was because when we were separated I could almost try to forget about her or I could tell myself that she might have escaped too. But having her with me every day in the caves seeing her do all the same habits that Jodi always did but at the same time seeing the silver glint in her eyes and knowing that she really was gone was a constant stabbing reminder of her pretty much death.

Sunny said she was always still looking for her but it was easy to doubt her. She had a crush on me and I could see no reason for her to want Jodi back. But the idea of her at least trying counted for at least something. Because I could never forget about her, I had to at least try to get her back. I hated my self every day I spent with Sunny knowing that I should have been doing more to try to get Jodi back. But what more could I do?

Sitting in the kitchen listening to Wanda's stories was the most relaxing thing to do for almost every one in the caves. Except for Maggie, Shannon and myself. It wasn't that I didn't like Wanda, she was good for these caves and it was nice seeing Ian happy, but to me Wanda's stories felt like she was just rubbing it in, that her species had destroyed so many others not to mention ours. I always had the feeling that like me, the other species that the souls had taken over had loved ones torn apart. Somewhere among the bears someone's Jodi had been taken from them and erased forever.

Sunny sighed from under me, and I glanced down at her. She had her face pulled into a small frown and had her eyes furrowed as though she were trying to get something off her mind. She sighed again then turned to face Wanda.

Jodi always did that, scrunch her eyes in deep thought, Jodi who always had something on her mind, she always loved riddles and tricks. The one girl who would laugh at even my stupidest jokes. Light hearted and fun loving she was up for anything no matter what time it was. We were neighbors, and before the souls came we would always wake up at exactly 1:30 in the morning every Saturday and spend our whole day in her musty old attic. When we were little it was so we could play games and role play, pretending to be ghost, monsters or the original knight in shining armor/damsel in distress stuff. One time she had climbed on the roof while we were up there and started yelling "Help! Help! I need my prince to save me" innocent enough but our parents heard her screaming and saw her up on the roof and immediately called the 911. A fire man climbed up and tried to coax her down she ignored him and jumped straight down fearless as anything and hit the ground with the perfect landing. Both of our parents were on overload checking her for broken bones or sprains. She was perfectly fine, not even in shock, all she did was, say that she forgot her ring up there and demand to climb back up to get it. I already had a crush on her and wanted to impress her so I climbed up to get it for her so I could really be her hero. Just as I picked it up I lost my balance and slipped off, landing on my butt. Of course when the adults came over to me it was just to scold me for my stupidity. Jodi was giggling like mad and my face turned red with embarrassment. So much for impressing her.

And I would never see her again. Sure I would see her everyday but I wouldn't really see _her_. I would never see the twinkle in her eyes when I offered to do something bold or risky together. Jodi was gone. How was I supposed to live?

I was pulled out of my thoughts back to the caves my home and without Jodi my own personal hell.

"Well when the souls came they started out by sending out mostly healers and souls that knew how to do insertion more skillfully and quickly. When the new soul was inserted they simple read the hosts memory's and knew how to act like. To be more enthusiastic about sports or be mores shy in conversations. We simply passed as your kind until we had taken over pretty much you whole species." She tried to say to say it nonchalantly because she didn't want to add to the commotion that came with it but you could here the sadness and regret in her voice. As if it hurt her about what her kind did almost as bad as it hurt us.

I tensed, suddenly angered. The little pain and guilt she felt was nothing compared to the heartbroken loss I got everyday because of what her kind did.

"But that doesn't mean they've won. Every day we save more people and they usually come back…" I could tell by her voice it was Paige. The crowd was appeased by her words and settled down again.

The crowd might have been calmed by hearing that but I wasn't. I wanted to yell out at her. "But sometimes they don't come back! And every time they don't, it's just another win for them."

Jodi didn't come back, another victory for the souls. A heartbreaking loss for me.

It felt like Shannon had read my thoughts when she sneered; "Yah but there's always that number of people who don't come back, those whose lives have been erased by your souls"

I felt Sunny shiver from under me.

I glared at Shannon. No matter how right she was there was no need to say that.

Right away I heard my brother's voice ready to defend Wanda.

"She's done her best Shannon you know that. Ever since Wanda's come here she's done nothing but help, and yet here you are blaming her for something she's had no part in. You don't think that she'd give up everything she has here in a heartbeat if she could have stopped the souls from ever coming here? What have you done for us in comparison, except making life in the caves harder for us?

He paused for a minute glaring at her then continued

Do you know what Wanda's been through for being so selfless not only has she risked her life for us numerous times but she has done you a personal favor. She brought your cousin Melanie back have you ever shown any gratitude for that? No just the opposite you still treat her like she's shit.

Did you know that Melanie disappeared once while they were still sharing a body? Wanda was faced with a choice she could choose to fight to get her back breaking Wanda's heart in the process or she could just live with it saving her all the pain and torture she felt when having to share her life.

And you know what she didn't even consider it!

Wanda _kissed_ Jared. Did you know that? She did because she knew it was the one thing that really brought Melanie back. Melanie was never as aware as she was when Jared kissed her. Obviously it worked but at what expense?

Wanda was torn up emotionally because of it, she was scarred but in all senses she regretted nothing, she's given so much so if you can really justify your hatred for her go ahead please, we would all love to here it."

Shannon just stood there mouth gaping open as she struggled for words.

I froze my body not responding. I could save her; there was a way. my body automatically pulled Sunny up to face me while my mind was numb and spinning.

I could save her. I could get Jodi back. Nothing could have held me back.

I pressed my lips hard against Sunny's forcefully shaping hers around mine. It felt natural me my lips touching Jodi's but at the same time I could sense how off it was. Because the whole time I knew held both consciously and subconsciously that I wasn't kissing Jodi. Just the worm using her body. But I pushed harder at the same time watching Sunny's face for any sign of Jodi.

Sunny's first reaction was utter joy. She kissed me back enthusiastically I just kept looking at her face checking for a sign of Jodi I didn't even know what I was looking for, but I kept looking for something anything!

Sunny eventually realized what I was trying to do and started crying but I kept kissing her one thought powering my mind.

Jodi. Jodi. Jodi. Jodi. Jodi. Jodi. Jodi. I had to save Jodi.

Eventually I gave up. every instinct in my body was against it though. I couldn't give up if this failed than my life was over I officially had nothing to live for.

I stopped and looked her straight in the eyes reading all the hurt and pain in them. I knew if I asked her it would only hurt her worse but how could I not ask? I had to make sure.

"Jodi?" I whispered

She burst into a fresh wave I burst into tears and ran out of the kitchen faster than I had ever run in my life.

Guilt washed over me "Wait. Sunny, no I'm sorry" she kept running and I started to run after her. Jared and Ian quickly jumped up to hold me back. I struggled against them but they held me back.

"Let her go Kyle" Jared growled through clenched teeth. "You've tortured her enough as it is."

I stopped struggling. And looked him in the face.

"Didn't you do the same thing for Melanie? You know you would have done the exact same thing if you were in my position." I whispered.

Jared paled but didn't let go "go back to your room Kyle, you can trust that she doesn't want to see you right now."

"So you're not going to send anyone after her?" I seethed

"No, we'll send out a search party, she won't be able to leave the caves." He replied coldly.

"No! I mean send someone over to comfort her!" I yelled

"Okay when we find her we'll have Wanda talk to her, try to calm her down a bit."

"She has every right to be mad…" I trailed off fuming.

"We'll console her a bit but the last person she needs to see right now is you so just go to your god damned room before you cause anymore damage."

"Fine" I glared at him. If there was one thing I hated it was being told what to do, but I went to my room anyway because he was right. I had caused enough damage for a life time.

When I got to my room I realized my eyes were watering. "Great now I'm freaking crying" I growled "What else could go wrong."

If only Jodi was here. I thought, she always had a way to make even the most horrible situation have a good outlook. Who was I kidding if she was here none of this would have happened.

I had screwed up so badly and it was all for nothing. Sunny was so innocent she never did anything to deserve this. Ian was always yelling at me for being too impulsive and this proved more than anything that he was right.

And Jodi. god Jodi I was so desperate for it to work, so sure it would work. Which made the let down all the greater. I felt so heartless because as much as it had hurt Sunny I could not really regret it. If I was given the same situation and the chance to play it out differently I knew I wouldn't. Because I had to get her back. Jodi was the only thing I truly lived for before, and now with her gone I had nothing to live for.

**hi people's i totally need help now because i have offically no idea of what im going to do any idea's sent in are good idea's unless they involves blues clues or penguins or something because i doubt they would fit in anywhere in the host or in my story**

**Remember to review it has been scientifically proven by webgrll1 that reviewing prolongs your life and replenishes your hair.**

**p.s. science is my worst subject but review anyway.**

**oh! and poll!**


	9. Comforting

**A/N...And guys if you are still here you all get a National "Most Loyal and Awesome Fanfiction Reader Ever" (MLAFRE) award, and trust me you deserve it! You rock!**

**Seriously though, I am soooo sorry it took me so long to update but I'm still continuing it and hopefully it will be easier for me to update now that i have more free time.**

**Wait what? "I don't own the Host"? Of course I do! What do you mean "Copyright laws"? I own the Host and that's final! ****S****uper copyright Ninja's do their kung foo flippy thingy into the room and beat Webgrll to a pulp.***

***Groans* Fine I'll admit it.."I don't own the Host!"**

**(Jodi's P.O.V.)**

And as I pushed my desperation onto my goal I felt the alien's control waver and I realized that I had gained control of my mouth even  
if only for a few seconds…

This was my chance, probably the only chance I would get to tell them I am here, to tell someone to free me.

"I'M HERE JODI'S..." I yell as loud as I can but am sudden thrust to the back to the back of my head losing control.

I don't fight it, I really can't, the hours of struggle had left me with little energy to anything except watch.

"…a, a, all he ever thinks about, I'm here to." She made a poor excuse for her yelling out I waited anxiously for Lily's reaction.

"Awww, Sunny its okay. Just give him time, you really can't blame him for missing Jodi." she lifted her head and stared Sunny right in the eye, not even flinching when she was met with the bright silver ring that stood as one of the only signs that Sunny was there instead of me. Lilly kept consoling her not even skipping a beat. "Trust me, he will get over her, eventually and see you for only you."

My first reaction was just disappointment that Lily had taken Sunny's excuse, and then her words sunk in.

Flashes of pain stabbed through me, tearing at my heart until there was no possibility that I could still be in one piece. Kyle wouldn't forget about me would he? Could he? I could never in a million years love anyone else, but could he move on and fall in love with someone else? And not just anyone, but the person who took my life away from me?

"No he won't" Sunny shook my head, "it's been six months and he still stares at me like it is all my fault, like I wanted all this to happen."

_No! _I seethed at her. _He hates you for what you did to me. And for what you are doing to me right now._

_He doesn't even know you're here. _Sunny replied, panic surging through her. Like I had some how been able to tell him while being held captive.

I was bluffing but I didn't let her see it. _For now, but can you imagine how he will react when he finds out? How do you think Kyle will feel when he finds out that you've been hiding me from him, do you think he could possibly love you then._

"No,no,nooooo!" Sunny wailed out loud.

Lily jumped to comfort her thinking she was only upset by their conversation.

"Shhh shhh shh." Lily whispered trying to reassure Sunny. "Everything's going to be okay I promise"

"How can you say that?" Sunny whispered. "How can you be sure?"

"Trust me Sunny, I know Kyle. He _will_ get over it. He's one to hold grudges, sure, but he can move on. He's just having a hard time now but trust me, he'll get over it" she suddenly gave this spaced look and her next words came out barely as a whisper. "Time heals all wounds"

Sunny glanced up at Lily's to see that she was streaming silent tears of her own. I instantly knew what the cause of the tears having been through the same kind of heart break myself. I silently willed Sunny not to ask what was wrong, imagining how much worse it would be for Lily to speak her thoughts out loud. So Sunny of course did just that.

"Oh, Lily! What's wrong, are you hurt? Are you okay?" she asked it innocently, she seemed to be totally oblivious about this type of pain.

"N-n-no, it-t's n-nothing really" Lily faltered trying to hold back another on slot of tears.

"Lily come on, just tell me what's wrong?" Sunny persisted. If I could have, I would have slugged her right then and there.

"Its juh-its juhs-just..." she started, her body shaking; she took a deep breath and whispered. "That's what he told me. He, he found me in my room one time I was having a hard day, everyone in these caves has felt this at one point or another, the feeling that all we're doing is for nothing, that were living a half life. I mean do you know the last time I saw _flowers_, not the little buds that grow on cactus but real _flowers?_ And then I was thinking about my parents and my little sister, sh-she wuw-was only eight when the when they came here, she never even stood a chance and my parents! Do you know their the only reason I even made it here?"

She shook her head, trying to force back painful memories.

We were one of the last family's to be taken. My parents had noticed from the very beggining that something was wrong, something was off. When the seeker came they held them off, screaming for me and my little sister to run. We ran out the back but I kept glancing behind me to make sure that Kate was still following behind. Then she tripped I don't know if she sprained or fractured something but she could barley keep running after that I tried carrying her but eventually a seeker caught up to us. She sprayed something at me and suddenly I was losing her, losing myself, all my sense of reality. I barley clung to reality I watched as the seeker came up to me and pried Kate away from me and carried her in the van. I had no strength left to fight it. It was just luck I guess when the seeker carried Kate to the car she had left the bottle of whatever she had sprayed at me next to me. I don't know if she figured I was knocked out or just forgot, but I grabbed it and when the seeker came for me I sprayed it in her face and she just collapsed. I knew I was minutes away from passing out myself so I used the last of my strength to crawl into a near by bush. I don't know how I was able to fight it off for so long or why none of the other seekers found me when they came and picked up the unconscious seeker and Kate. All I know is that when I woke up I was all alone."

She paused again, to try to calm her nerves; she was shaking all over now on the brink of loosing it and I plead with Sunny to let her stop. But, of course Sunny let her keep going thinking idiotically that the best thing to have her do is to let her let it out. Couldn't she see that Lily had already re-lived this situation countless times and that the last thing she needed was to re-open the wounds.

"I've tried to move on, and when me and Wes became a thing I really realized how lucky I was. He was there when I cried, comforting me in my darkest times and he was always able to pull me out of the nightmares that never seemed to end. He was always there for me ever since I came to the caves. And yet I was somehow so naïve as to not too see how perfect he was and how he actually loved me, me!"

She suddenly lost it exploding into racking sobs that echoed freely through the cave.

"AND WHEN I FINALLY REALIZED THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGATHER HE WAS KILLED!" she shrieked losing any piece of sanity that she had been able to hold onto.

Sunny was useless, just sobbing with her making no attempt to console her. I once again yearned for the use of my body if only to comfort Lily.

But I couldn't and Sunny obviously wasn't helping her.

_Do something!_ I hissed to her.

_Like what? _Sunny was panicking expecting me to fight for my body again.

_Anything! Comfort her!_ I was angry that she was wasting time worrying about me when Lily was out there fighting her own mental horrors on her own.

_What do I do? _She was so clueless, being babied in the perfect world of souls her whole life, or to be specific the whole of my life that she had taken from me.

_Well you can start by not crying all over her-that's the last thing she needs._

She sniffled once and stopped; Lilly noticed and looked up wondering why she stopped.

_What next? _she was panicking again although I didn't have a clue why.

_You're doing fine now I want you to say something comforting to her._

_Like what?_

_Tell her everything is going to be okay_

_But it isn't!_

_Tell her anyway!_

Sunny stammered "Ummm, it's going to be okay Lily, everything is going to be okay!"

Lilly looked up at her "How can you know that?"

Sunny was speechless trying to think of something to say. This was useless-Sunny had no idea what she was dealing with and had no clue how to help her.

_Just give me my mouth back_

_No!_

_Just trust me, Lilly needs someone strong right now to lean on and you're not going to be able to handle it._

I forced my energy on trying to control my mouth, but Sunny was still holding fast.

"Jeeze Sunny now's not the time, I give my word Sunny, _I will not take advantage of this to gain my freedom!_

_'Gain freedom'_ Sunny thought. 'E_asily translated into ruining my life_.' Sunny was weary but she loosened her hold.

I thrust all my energy on taking back control and Sunny shivered. It was hard to hold onto even though Sunny was worn down after all that had happened and I had a strong feeling that I wouldn't easily get this chance again.

I was very aware that this was the perfect spot to call for help and that I could easily get everyone to know I was here, but Lily needed me and right now my escape plans would have to wait.

"Lily look at me." I said my voice was a whisper but it still echoed in the cave. She lifted her face, her eyes puffy and pink from crying so hard.

"Lily, I'm so sorry. I wish I could say I know what your going through and that everything is going to get better right away but I can't. I can't say that I knew Wes personally but I can say that I know what a good person he is. I've heard so many stories about him time and time again and they always talk about what a wonderful, caring and all around good person he was."

She was nodding erratically bobbing her head in utter agreement.

I continued "and you know what? I also know what he would do right now if he was here. He would be going nuts worrying about you. If he was here he would be telling you that he wanted you to be strong. You have to remember that where ever he is he is happy now. When he said time heals all wounds he didn't mean he wants you to forget him. He just meant you have to live life anyway. "

Lily didn't say anything she just sat there, her head down running the words back through her head. But her breathing had calmed to a steady pace and she stopped shaking. I took this as a good sign.

_Is she going to be okay? _Sunny asked.

_Yes. _I said and then glanced at Lily worried she had heard me say it out loud.

Sunny thought for a moment. _Thank you. _she finally said.

Pretty funny how hard it was for a soul to say thank you, although in her defense she figured, I had quote "ruined her life" and it must not be easy to thank someone after that.

Sunny was suddenly guilty. "I'm sorry!"

"It's okay. You are only being human."

She gave a small shiver and started to defend herself when she was cut off by the sound of Jebs voice echoing through the hallways.

"Sunny, Lily you girls all right."

I actually felt physical pain as Sunny panicky forced back her control. I fought back for a minute but it felt as though there was a solid concrete layer of ice boxing me in, the thick numbing wall separating me from not only my body but reality itself. No I whispered recognizing the feeling of falling back into nothingness, NO! I said louder this time, imagining being gone before I ever even got to talk to Kyle, I fought tooth and nail and managed just barely to cling to existence. I couldn't tell if she had purposely tried to erase me again or if she had done that out of sheer panic, but she had her walls up so either way I could tell she had wanted me gone.

Sunny nodded her head but didn't say anything. I could feel anxiety radiating around her wall, and also... guilt?

"Well, I just came by to make sure your 'kay and to let you know that everybody's in bed now. So if you want to come down to the kitchen 'n grab some grub before yah go to bed that it's fine by me."

"No thank you" Sunny said while Lily answered, "I think I'd rather just go to bed if it's okay"

Well suit yerselves then but later on I'll be grabbin myself a bite, oh which reminds me, Sunny we'll be postponing the raid until further notice.

"What? No! Why?" Sunny was startled.

"Well we figured it wouldn't be right to drag you on a raid with Kyle after what he did and with Paige and Andy in the hospital and Melanie and Jared soon to be joining them we're a little short handed without them.

_Why are there people in the hospital?_ I asked Sunny, before she could answer Lily spoke up "Melanie's only six months in, what's she doing in their so early?

"Err. Jared's kinda paranoid about keepin her and the baby safe; I can assure she's not taken it very well."

Sunny was not sidetract "No Jeb, you can't stall the raid because of me, of course I will go."

I recognized from her earlier memories what a raid meant, long hours of car rides alone with him. No. Never. Definately unacceptable.

"Are ya sure? It's just you, Kyle, Wanda and Ian so you'd be stuck with Kyle."

_No you don't! _I hissed.

_You're stopping me from being able to help them!_ She accused. To her, her second worse fear, only second to me getting my body back and taking Kyle from her, had just been revealed.

_You can help them some other way but stay away from Kyle _I growled at her.

She was suddenly angry, her pitiful anger fueled her to say something that she would definitely regret.

"No it's fine I'll go."

"I'll go too" Lily piped "I think I'm sick of these caves, some fresh air might be good for me."

I was so proud of Lily that I momentarily forgot about my anger at sunny then I thought of her and Kyle sharing  
a room, a bed! and my anger returned.

"There, that's the spirit. Now I'll set the raid for tomorrow night so yah girls might want to get some shut-eye"

"Okay, see you Jeb" Sunny said then left the room with out a second glance.

"I hope I don't regret this" Sunny sighed shaking her head.

_Oh you will. _I seethed _I'll be sure of it._

Sunny gulped.


End file.
